Most of the time I’m pretty comfortable with the way I look, mainly because my everyday life doesn’t involve me getting semi-naked in front of hundreds of strangers that I don’t know. You know the nightmare scenario where in a dream you end up on stage in front of hundreds of people in nothing but your under crackers? That’s how it feels being on a beach, to me. I know a lot of you feel the same too, so here’s how we can beat it, together. 

body confidence

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I never covet another woman’s body. Only ever to appreciate, but not to feel envious of. So if any of you are the jealous type, it stops here, kay? Let’s imagine we’re on a beach. Now look around. You will never ever look like the girl in the red bikini with the tiny waist and the big boobs. You’ll never look like the girl in the 50’s pin up swimsuit that has no chest and large thigh gap. You’ll also never look like the curvaceous mama reading her book under the umbrella to the left. You won’t look like these women because you aren’t these women. You are you, and you will always look like you. Let’s learn to embrace what we have, instead of wanting what others do. Yes, all these women are beautiful, but so are you. There’s another girl on this beach, wishing she had something that you have, but you’re too busy being hard on yourself to even notice.

I have always carried my weight around my stomach. To me, sometimes this is the most disgusting thing in the entire world. Why can’t I carry my weight on my thighs or my bum? Because I don’t. That’s why. But do you know what? Some women wish they carried weight around their middle, usually the women who carry their weight elsewhere, like their thighs, or bum. Do you see what I’m getting at? We all know it’s easier said than done, but how many of you are reading this while eating a really sad salad for your desk lunch? How many of you have been craving chocolate since 6 weeks ago? How many of you eat healthily until you get period cramps and order enough Dominos to feed an entire village in Tibet? There are a few gals reading who probably eat clean and regularly work out. You go, girl! If it makes you happy then carry on! The same way if a large chicken burrito with extra cheese makes you happy, you should eat that. We have two options here, to accept or to change. To accept it means you look in the mirror and are happy, but feel you shouldn’t be because the pressure of society tells you that you don’t look like the women constantly wakeboarding in Hawaii on Instagram. If this is the case, then carry on, you are beautiful the way you are and nothing should change your mind about that. If you want to change, you’re beautiful the way you are, too. But you don’t seem super happy with yourself. You need to set yourself a realistic goal. You will always have stomach rolls, even the skinniest or fittest of girls have them. And unless you are on the same diet and workout regime as Beyoncé, your thighs are always going to jiggle when you walk. But moreover, it’s not about changing your body, it’s about changing your mindset.

body confidence 3

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We need to stop looking at pictures of larger ladies and assuming they’re unhealthy. We also need to stop looking at pictures of thin women and assuming they’re unhealthy. Unless you are a doctor and have physically examined these ladies yourself, you have no right to comment on another woman’s body type and make assumptions about her physical health. Thigh gaps can be just as sexy as curves, the same way a flat chest can be just as empowering as a booty that can hold a cup. What makes all these things sexy? The confidence of the woman that has the feature. Some people won’t find what you have attractive. That’s cool. Some people might voice what they find unappealing about you. That’s cool too. Thank you for your opinion, have a nice day. Goodbye. You are perfect the way you are, and if someone is telling you that you aren’t, they’re wrong and you need to evacuate them from your life immediately. The only person that needs to be happy with the way you look is you. So pack that skimpy bikini for your holiday, or cover up, whatever you’re most comfortable doing, and enjoy yourself. The moment you stop looking at what you don’t have and accept what you do, you’ll be happy. And in the wise words of Ru Paul, if you don’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?